My story…

Growing up in the UK in the 90’s/00’s, there were only two things you could be, gay or straight. I never fitted into either of those boxes. The way I expressed myself and connected with others was much broader than that. Instead of loving who I was, I was forced to feel broken.

There never seemed to be any education about people like me. I didn’t see any role models, which led me to feel isolated. The anxiety and fear led me to experience severe mental health difficulties throughout my younger life.

In my early twenties I hit rock bottom and narrowly survived. I knew something had to change so I started opening up. My workplace actually felt like quite a safe space to start. My openness received huge appreciation and I was propelled into becoming bi+ representative for the UK Civil Service, representing half a million employees.

I realised that no one was going to talk about this stuff unless I did, so I made it my mission to raise awareness. I started speaking on social media and to my amazement, tens of thousands of people responded, quickly making me one of the most recognised figures in the bisexual community.

Today @notdefining is a platform of over 30K followers across 6 different social media sites. Every post I make is something that I wish I could have seen when I was younger.

As @notdefining grew, people began messaging me asking for support. At first I did this informally, mentoring hundreds of people through my DMs. These conversations gave me insight into the issues people face with their sexuality, gender, mental health, identity and relationships.

Eventually, the demand became overwhelming, so I decided to train as a professional coach. This allowed me to provide structured support to those who needed it. I also created a Patreon community where people could still access text mentoring as well as group sessions and much more.

I am now a specialist integrative coach working with hundreds of clients from across the spectrums of sexuality, gender and identity. I am a writer, author and public speaker having represented the fluid, questioning community at major events and on television.

I don’t define myself. I’m kind of fluid, bi/ace, non-binary I guess. As an autistic person, I am also proud to represent the neuro-diverse community. I am Scottish but currently live in Dublin, Ireland.

I am grateful for everything that has happened to me because it has led me to this incredible work where I get to connect with the most phenomenal people. Thank you for being on this journey with me…